My hands connect me to the energy of the plants.

When we started making movies of the garden I'd give a tour with comments on the latest growth. While watching the movies I was surprised to see how often I touched the plants with just a casual pat or stroke of affection here or there. It was revealing to witness my unconscious and natural expression of love for the garden.

Now I know this to be a key ingredient to my gardening practices. The tactile sensations I feel through my hands guide me. Working with warm freshly tilled soil activates my passion and the pure joy of my creative energy.

The garden has guided me into ever deepening levels of self awareness. One year the raspberry patch had some problems after I had carelessly over fertilized the rows with a compost tea formula. At that time, I was still holding the idea in my mind that more is better! The near disaster brought me literally down on my knees as I examined daily the slow death of all of the new raspberry shoots.

In order to determine the extent of the damage, I began a thorough investigation of the minutia of the root systems of the mother plants. This process brought my attention to the underground world of the raspberry plants that I had not known before. As I carefully dug around their woody roots I discovered that they were sprouting tiny delicate white feeder roots. I found hope for their survival.

An insight came to me as my eyes explored the earthy home of roots, worms, and tiny insects. The word "intimacy" came to my mind. What I was experiencing in that moment with the raspberries and the microcosm of the garden was intimacy. I had never thought of it that way before.

What a sharp contrast to pouring on the compost tea. I was in a hurry that day and I grabbed an old container of compost tea mix that someone had given me the year before. I had no idea what was in it, but somehow got the idea that it would be just what the raspberries needed to make big red juicy berries. My mind attached itself to this idea and the raspberries became its object - somewhat like dissecting a sentence for its grammatical structure. It had not occurred to me to take the time to connect with the raspberries and tune in to what their needs were before putting on the fertilizer.

What a revelation! Yes, of course, intimacy is very important in gardening with awareness. I felt my willingness to be intimate with the raspberries and the rest of the garden from now on. Could I take this understanding into the rest of my life, too? Was I willing to learn to be present in the moment so fully, that I wouldn't unconsciously objectify others again? "Yes", I answered with my heart.

Shifting from the conditioning of our western culture and its mechanistic portrayal of life, takes daily practice. It also takes concentration and will power to let go of the fear that has been instilled in us about living in intimacy with the natural world and our loved ones. I thank the garden for willingly and intimately offering itself for my learning. As my friend and guide it is leading me into a unity and harmony - an intimacy, much greater than I can imagine.